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It amazes me that the issues of children and their fathers seem to go unheard in today’s society. Not having a father in the home seems to be accepted as normal in our society. In a recent conversation with a young man in his 30s, he admitted to not having a relationship with his father, and vowed to himself that he would be nothing like his father.
The sad thing is that as we talked, he realized that he was doing things in his life that were just like his dad. It was sobering to think that a person ended up doing the exact thing that he vowed he wouldn’t do.
As we talked, we realized that the void that he felt of not having a relationship with his father sent him down a path of self-destruction, and he hadn’t even realized it until he saw himself doing the exact things his father did.
This is the story of too many people today. People are hurting from their relationships with their fathers and find themselves living their lives trying to cope with the pain, rejection, insecurity, and anger that it brings. It doesn’t matter if someone is a grandfather or a child. Once someone has been hurt or disappointed by his or her father, it can be difficult to heal and move on in life.
Most people try to cope with the pain by forgetting about it, or by diminishing the importance of the relationship and acting like it does not matter. The problem with this is that not acknowledging the pain doesn’t make the pain go away. Many people are locked in their past, and have not found a way to unlock themselves into the life that they really want.
There is good news! By the time you are finished with this book you will not only be able to be free from the pain of the past, but you will be free to walk into your future. Life is too short to live day by day coping with life. It is time to truly enjoy life, and not just endure it.
Everyone has a story. And most people, at some point in their lives, wish they could have had a better situation growing up. I remember going to school and watching other classmates, and thinking they had a perfect home. I wished I could have been born into that family. What I didn’t realize is that everyone has drama. What you deal with may not be what I deal with, but, believe me, everyone is dealing with something!
The sooner I realized that I was not the only one on the planet who had things in life and at home that needed to be worked out, I was able to cope, heal, and move on into my God-given purpose. My family was not the only family that wasn’t perfect. Wishing myself into another family would have resulted in having to deal with a different set of issues.
You do not have to be locked to your past anymore. You can be free, whole, complete, and positioned to do great things. You are not destined to repeat the cycles from your past. You are not destined to cope with the pain from the past for the rest of your life. Healing is available. Wholeness is available. Peace is available. Joy—yes, joy—is available to you right now.
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