The Dad I Wish I Had

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Tony Dungy's

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"Freddie Scott is tackling this issue with "The Dad I Wish I Had."... My hope is that this book inspires you to think about ways we can get our dads back to their rightful place in this country—i nvolved and active in their children's lives"

by Freddie Scott II

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About

Freddie

After a standout college career as a receiver at Penn State setting a school record for most catches in a game (13), and dawning the cover of Sports Illustrated, Freddie has a history as a player in the National Football League (Falcons '96 - '97, Colts '98, Lions '99), a pastor, a public speaker and author. He is the founder and president of Unlock the Champion, an organization determined to empower men with tools to Love & Lead their families, as well as equip youth with fundamental life skills essential for character development to be successful in life and at home.Today, Freddie travels across the country speaking on such issues as family, character development, leadership, and personal growth. To date, Freddie has spoken to thousands helping to empower people to not be imprisoned by the pain of their past. He is a National Spokesman for Tony Dungy's organization, All Pro Dad. And serves as an Assistant Pastor at Word of Faith Christian Center - Nashville, where he operates as the Dean of the ministries Spiritual Growth Institute.Freddie balences these responsibilities along with his top priority of being a husband to his lovely wife of 11 years, and father to 5 wonderful children.

Connect w/Freddie: www.freddiescott.org

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Page 1

Foreword by Tony Dungy

Our country is facing a crisis right now, but I’m not sure most people recognize it. We’re focused on the economy—people are losing jobs, banks are failing, the stock market is falling and our auto manufacturers are looking for help. But the economy is not our biggest problem. We have another threat to our society that is even worse and that is the deterioration of our family structure. God’s plan for the family starts with the father being the spiritual leader, provider and head of the household. In America today, we are moving farther and farther away from that model. Our legal system is trying to make sure that dads are providing financial support for their children, and while that’s necessary, it isn’t nearly enough. Our kids need the teaching, guidance and love that dads should provide and because they are not getting it, we’re seeing a multitude of problems. Low graduation rates, juvenile arrests, teen pregnancies and just the general dysfunction that we’re seeing in our families today can be traced to the absence of fathers in the home. And if we don’t change the momentum soon, we may not be able to pull out of this. I was very fortunate to have my dad around for the first forty nine years of my life. I learned a lot from him and I’m still using many of those lessons today. Not just how to do things that boys need to learn to have fun, like how to throw a ball or ride a bike. But I also learned a lot of things from him about life. I learned why it’s important to study and work hard to get good grades. I learned how control my temper, how to treat other people with respect, how to deal with disappointments as well as successes. And I learned about family—how to treat a wife, how to treat children and how to provide for them. I also got something else because of my dad—access to the rest of his family and a chance to learn things from grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins.. Today our boys and girls aren’t always getting a chance to have these advantages. They’re not getting to learn these lessons with the help of a father and the only way that is going to change is if we men do something to break this cycle. Freddie Scott is tackling this issue with "The Dad I Wish I Had." He is not only providing an honest look at the problem but giving sound biblical solutions for overcoming it. I know that reading it will be enlightening and challenging. My hope is that this book inspires you to think about ways we can get our dads back to their rightful place in this country—involved and active in their children's lives.

Page 2

Introduction

It amazes me that the issues of children and their fathers seem to go unheard in today’s society. Not having a father in the home seems to be accepted as normal in our society. In a recent conversation with a young man in his 30s, he admitted to not having a relationship with his father, and vowed to himself that he would be nothing like his father.The sad thing is that as we talked, he realized that he was doing things in his life that were just like his dad. It was sobering to think that a person ended up doing the exact thing that he vowed he wouldn’t do.As we talked, we realized that the void that he felt of not having a relationship with his father sent him down a path of self-destruction, and he hadn’t even realized it until he saw himself doing the exact things his father did.This is the story of too many people today. People are hurting from their relationships with their fathers and find themselves living their lives trying to cope with the pain, rejection, insecurity, and anger that it brings. It doesn’t matter if someone is a grandfather or a child. Once someone has been hurt or disappointed by his or her father, it can be difficult to heal and move on in life.Most people try to cope with the pain by forgetting about it, or by diminishing the importance of the relationship and acting like it does not matter. The problem with this is that not acknowledging the pain doesn’t make the pain go away. Many people are locked in their past, and have not found a way to unlock themselves into the life that they really want.There is good news! By the time you are finished with this book you will not only be able to be free from the pain of the past, but you will be free to walk into your future. Life is too short to live day by day coping with life. It is time to truly enjoy life, and not just endure it.Everyone has a story. And most people, at some point in their lives, wish they could have had a better situation growing up. I remember going to school and watching other classmates, and thinking they had a perfect home. I wished I could have been born into that family. What I didn’t realize is that everyone has drama. What you deal with may not be what I deal with, but, believe me, everyone is dealing with something!The sooner I realized that I was not the only one on the planet who had things in life and at home that needed to be worked out, I was able to cope, heal, and move on into my God-given purpose. My family was not the only family that wasn’t perfect. Wishing myself into another family would have resulted in having to deal with a different set of issues.You do not have to be locked to your past anymore. You can be free, whole, complete, and positioned to do great things. You are not destined to repeat the cycles from your past. You are not destined to cope with the pain from the past for the rest of your life. Healing is available. Wholeness is available. Peace is available. Joy—yes, joy—is available to you right now.

Page 3

Chapter 1

“"Fathers, provoke not your children to wrath.”" — Ephesians 6:4During a national youth camp a few years ago, I had the pleasure of serving hundreds of young people between the ages of 12 and 18. During the camp, my wife and I were asked to talk to the youth about friendships and dating, to help them make appropriate decisions about the relationships they were involved in.What we discovered shocked us. We asked the children some basic questions about their expectations in relationships:1. What is your definition of a “real man/woman”?2. What do you think the opposite sex is looking for in you?3. Who are three people you like?4. What is it in your parents’ relationship that you want in your marriage?5. What is it in your parents’ relationship that you don’t want in your marriage? QUESTION # 1: WHAT IS A REAL MAN/WOMAN?It was amazing to hear that over 95 percent of the girls believe that the first attribute of a “real man” is that he is “godly” or has a relationship with God. That was the first thing that came to mind for the girls when asked the question.Other criteria included things such as knowing one’s purpose, having a job, and having a place to live. Just about every young lady had these issues as a part of their definition of a real man. They agreed that they would have a major issue with a “man” who did not have a relationship with God, did not have a job, and still lived with his parents.They wanted a man who had a sincere relationship with God. They wanted someone who could be the head of the home, and a covering for their family.But when we asked them about their current boyfriend, we got a different story. Most of the boys that they liked, or were in a relationship with, did not have a serious relationship with God and didn’t even meet most of the criteria the girls said they wanted in a man. It was interesting to see that there was a contradiction between whom they said they wanted, and whom they were actually with.The boys, however, were not as spiritual. The majority of the boys had as their first criteria something that had to do with looks, or physical attractiveness. The spiritual component was less important to the boys.They wanted their girlfriends to look good primarily. They also wanted to be respected for who they were, and not feel pressured into spending a lot of money on their girlfriend to make them happy.

Introduction

Chapter 1

Foreword

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Free Audio Excerpts

Introduction.mp3

Chapter 1.mp3

testimonies

Jim Caldwell

"There is an extraordinary amount of practical wisdom dispensed in this book. You can clearly see God's message regarding the impact a father has on his household both positively and negatively through the eyes of the young people in the camp experience. But Freddie systematically goes beyond the realm of simply identifying the problems by providing God inspired solutions. Read it and you will be blessed." Jim Caldwell, Head Coach, Indianapolis Colts

Fred Scott Sr Freddie Scott Sr Business.jpg

Freddie Scott, Sr. 11 Year NFL Veteran

"Catching a glimpse of our life from my child's perspective further enlightened me. It was evident to me that I was clueless on the adverse affect of my absence from the home because of my selfishness. Key emotions were realized as I read this book but none greater than love. I could see and feel the love the children had for me during those times and was not understanding of how critical those times were to the family. God's love for us all came across strong in the book and I know that without His love, their mother's effort to keep them worshiping in a good bible teaching church and their personal commitment to follow God, not man, Freddie could have easily become one of the earlier statistics he referenced in the book. Love you son and thank you for making yourself available to link God to your past and your future - your dad and your own children- as we address the needs of the now/present! Looking forward to hearing about more speaking engagements and more books!" Love, DadFreddie Scott, Sr.

Lowell Perry Jr

Lowell Perry, Jr.

"I was blessed that my father Lowell was the quintessential role model and mentor for me as a boy and as a man. One thing that he instilled in me very early on was that 'you make a living by what you earn, but you make a life by what you give.' This philosophy has served me well as CEO of Big Brothers Big Sisters of Middle Tennessee and how I approach life in general. Freddie's book should be an inspiration to men from all walks of life to demonstrate an attitude of gratitude through service to others, beginning with their own sons."Lowell Perry, CEO, Big Brothers Big Sisters of Middle TN

Jim Caldwell
Fred Scott Sr
Lowell Perry Jr

media

TBN Behind the Scenes Pt 1
TBN Behind the Scenes Pt 2
CTN's Bridges

Watch our Videos

Freddie has been featured on national TV broadcasts such as TBN's Behind the Scenes, as well as nationally syndicated radio programs such as FamilyLife Today with Dennis Rainey, and the KD Bowe Morning Show, helping to spread the positive message of hope and healing to families.

TBN Behind the Scenes Pt 1
TBN Behind the Scenes Pt 2
CTN's Bridges

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800 651 4959 or

918 394 2665

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www.freddiescott.org

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